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<title>let these hands hold yours by coca (shangxia)</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23781196">let these hands hold yours</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/shangxia/pseuds/coca'>coca (shangxia)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Ambiguous Relationships, Feelings, M/M, Sharing a Bed, idk what this is actually</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 21:08:11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>778</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23781196</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/shangxia/pseuds/coca</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Bill lingers on Stan. He lingers on Stan and sees what he usually sees, and touches all of the same— his dry and dirty curls, his pointy ear, and his cheek. </p><p>But it’s not all the same, because this time, Stan leans into his touch.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bill Denbrough/Stanley Uris</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>34</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>let these hands hold yours</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Seeing Stan feels like this.</p><p>It feels as if he’s been stuck in a moment for so long that when something differs even not as much, it rattles him. Not the kind that makes you want to dig up a hole— <em>no</em>.</p><p>“You really took your time,” says Bill, his dangling feet by the bed’s corner just can’t seem to stop their movement.</p><p>“Uhm, yeah,” Stan arches his brows, seemingly humoring Bill’s off-handed comment with his own levity. “Unlike you, I actually do brush my teeth.”</p><p>“You do know you're a bit excessive, right?” and Stan scoffs out a little laugh, his shoulders hunching and teeth showing off just for a moment.</p><p>Seeing Stan feels more like the kind where your insides go all gooey and it kind of reiterates him on the outside that he’s actually fidgeting.</p><p> </p><p>But actually <em>seeing</em> Stan feels different, like actually looking at him.</p><p>Over times, you kind of forgot that you’re not thirteen years old anymore and mulling over whether it’s okay to just stare at another boy isn’t a part of the equation of a seventeen year old.</p><p>But Bill doesn’t feel like it, he never does.</p><p>Maybe deep down Bill is still that thirteen year old boy, with his hands always rumpling the ends of his jeans and a pair of eyes that won’t leave anywhere other than the circling radius around Stan and whatever it was in his line of sight.</p><p>And maybe every now and then, when he and Stan are lying side by side and the darkness that surrounds them indulges in Bill’s bravery even just a little, he takes in a sharp breath, and takes a closer look at him.</p><p>“I like it when you do that,” Stan’s voice of a whisper cracks through Bill’s reverie. Stan looks droopy, he looks light.</p><p>He looks the exact opposite of what Bill’s feeling. Confused. Agitated. Shocked. And maybe just, scared?</p><p>“I’ve never said it before but...” Stan trails off, glancing down then back at Bill’s eyes, “I like it when you look at me like that.”</p><p>“Like I’m the only one you’re seeing.”</p><p>And maybe the darkness indulges him again because Bill finds himself relaxing, and finds himself saying, “You are.”</p><p>Really looking at Stan feels like getting to know a secret of the universe, that it’s only reserved for him.</p><p> </p><p>Touching Stan is something new.</p><p>It had him feeling naked, like the feeling you get when you’re exposed to an endless ray after a long time enduring cold season. And when Stan just stared back at him, unmoving, it had felt like he was exposing himself too, to Bill.</p><p>“Can I?”</p><p>Stan smiles at him, he always does whenever he asks. Like it’s a silly thing to do when they’ve been like this for awhile.</p><p>Bill likes to linger on Stan. He likes to bring his hand up to Stan’s face that’s staring right back at him as Bill’s eyes just travel everywhere his hand traces.</p><p>The arcs of his brows, then the slope of his nose, the prod of his cheek, and if he’s feeling braver, he touches the fading marks around Stan’s face. And when he does, Stan flinches— he blinks a little more, his breath shudders— and Bill instinctively pulls his hand away.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” whispers Bill.</p><p>“It’s okay. I’m okay,” he reaches out and Bill meets him halfway through, letting Stan grabs a hold of his hand and feels his palm against the side of Stan’s face again. “I’m not scared anymore.”</p><p>It’s scary. A good kind of scary how Stan reveals more than he usually does.</p><p> </p><p>Talking with Stan, though. It’s one of his favorite feelings in the world. </p><p>They're sitting on the bed, legs-crossed, and face-to-face, and maybe they're sitting close enough for Bill's toes to brush against Stan's knee.</p><p>“Do you think you'd still remember me? You know, later,” Bill wants to laugh hearing it, because the answer is obvious to him. But Stan doesn't look like he's joking and his eyes are casting down at Bill's chest, so he swallows it down.</p><p>“'Course I will, no questions asked,” says Bill. “Will you?”</p><p>Stan looks at him. His eyes are bright. “Yes?” then his eyes are squinting, brows furrowed, “Sorry, what's your name again?”</p><p>Bill punches his shoulder. “Hilarious, Mr. Urine.”</p><p>And Stan looks appalled, but he laughs and it makes Bill laughs too. It quiets down when Stan leans forward, slow but surely, until their foreheads touch and until Bill realizes that he's been holding his breath.</p><p>Stan laughs again, but it's toned down this time, just a huff of breath.</p><p>“Fucker.”</p><p> </p><p>Everything with Stan feels like coming home.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this is what happened when u have a lot of feelings but zero writing skills</p></blockquote></div></div>
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